Witty Witness

December is the prime time for toy shopping. It's no surprise electronic devices are on the "Top 100 Toy List" once again this year. For children growing up in the 60's, 70's, and 80's, the "Etch a Sketch" was the closest thing to a tablet we could get our hands on. The bright red frame with two large white knobs at the bottom of each corner, is an immediately recognizable and iconic image. The design is brilliant in it's simplicity. If you've lived in a cave your entire life, Etch a Sketch is a mechanical drawing device for kids. Twisting the two knobs on each corner, caused a stylus on the inside of the toy to displace aluminum powder on the light grey screen, which in turn caused lines to form. Because one knob made the stylus move vertically and the other knob made the stylus move horizontally, creating diagonal lined works of art, was nearly impossible. Sitting alone in the floor as a kid, I was barely able to scratch out my name,

You better watch out, you better not cry Better not pout, I'm telling you why Santa Claus is comin' to town He's making a list and checking it twice Gonna find out who's naughty and nice Santa Claus is comin' to town He sees you when you're sleepin' He knows when you're a wake He knows if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake Even if I were to estimate conservatively, I'd say I've heard the song above over 1,000 in my life time. As a grown man now, with kids of my own, the words and the melody of the song take me back to my childhood. Lying in my bed each night leading up to Christmas, I envisioned all the presents stacked around the tree just for me. I was an only child for 9 years, so for nearly a decade, I was the only recipient of gifts at my house on Christmas morning. Then my younger siblings came along and ruined my one man band. My Christmas loot was divided in 4ths. Bah humbug.  Being the devious little m

As I pulled into the crowded Kroger parking lot, I took my place in the long line of cars that were gridlocked near the front entrance. "I knew I should have taken the side entrance," I complained to myself. From my vantage point, I could see the gas pumps on the other side of the parking lot, I just couldn't quite get there. With each moment that passed, my gas gauge inched closer to empty. "Why did you wait so long to get gas? Are you some kind of mad man?" The Kroger fuel pumps seemed like a desert oasis off in the distance. "I'm an idiot. Why didn't I just take the side entrance?" A sea of red brake lights lit up the dim parking lot on the cold overcast day. This time of year, even lunch time feels like dusk. The hot exhaust from the cars meeting the frigid winter air, sent out clouds of heavy grey smoke. Then suddenly the sound of car horns could be heard over my XM Christmas music. Almost like an allergic chain reaction, more car ho