One Bad Decision Indeed



Everything in my mind told me I shouldn't do it, but the cheap beer and a few friend bought shots from "Poor Richard's" bar dared me to climb the flag pole outside of my fraternity house on Maple Street. Not being one to shy away from a challenge, I slowly started my ascent. A man my size and condition should never have engaged in such shenanigans that night, but never the less, there I was like a retired, out of shape fireman, clinging to the pole. As I slowly and strategically placed one hand above the other, I was making headway. I thought it was a shame that there wasn't a single soul present in the yard that night to witness the amazing feat. The reality was everyone else was either too smart or too intoxicated to be a willing spectator. I gave a quick eyeball to the top of the flag-less flag pole above. I knew the very top was the goal, the end-zone, the final destination, the promised land. Like Moses however, I never made it to the promised land. What felt like 3 or 4 stories from the grass below, was more likely 5 or 6 feet in the air. It was about the 6 foot mark, when the pole started to wobble ever so slightly. My mind was flooded with a momentary rush of reason and clarity, telling my hands, "we should probably turn back." Cheap beer and friend bought shots were hearing none of it. So a few feet higher and lots of wobbling later, the pole finally gave way, spilling me to the ground below.
The decision to scale the flag pole that night, was one bad decision indeed. Sadly, that wasn't the worst bad decision I've ever made. I won't bore you with the highlight reel of Adam's dumb decisions throughout the years. Many occurred before social media and cell phones could capture photo or video evidence. Suffice it to say, there were quite a few bad decisions along the way. But giving myself some grace, I've made some good decisions across the years as well.
I remember growing up, it wasn't a formal lesson from anyone, but more likely a misunderstood and inaccurate perception, that self professed "Christians" and people that regularly attended church were perfect people. They certainly looked the part. They were people that unfortunately made me feel like they were part of a club that I didn't belong to. In hindsight it was probably more my own insecurities and spiritual immaturity, rather than their overt actions. They seemed like good and polished people, leading good and normal lives, and I was certain they made only good decisions. They were people who had been "saved" by Jesus and all of their mistakes and bad decisions were tucked away safely and neatly in their past. They were committed "to go forth and sin no more." God might as well have reached down and touched them personally, while I stood watching enviously from just outside their circle of perfection. (Think Ben Stiller "Circle of Trust" in "Meet the Parents")

Here is what I've realized as an adult however...good people, Christian people, still make mistakes. They make bad decisions, decisions that rival the infamous flag pole fiasco of 2001 described above. The other night on Facebook, I saw a quote that said something along the lines of, "Even one bad decision can change your life." That's scary, but that's true I suppose. However, the opposite of that is true as well, "Even one great decision can change your life." I remember being about 11 years old in vacation bible school at the Baptist Church where my mom and I attended, and having this amazing and difficult to describe experience where I just felt a warm, joyful, happy, and close presence and connectedness to God. Maybe that sounds silly to you as you read this, but it felt very real to a younger me. So, I did what any good Baptist boy would do, and I was baptized. It was my decision alone, and one that I would do again 100 times over. That was one great decision that changed my life.
What I didn't realize at the time however is that a relationship with God isn't that simple. You don't simply feel the presence of God and ask Him into your heart and your life, get dunked under water in front of your friends and family, dry off, then lead a perfect, mistake free life. That's impossible. It's unattainable. It's not realistic. There is only one man that lived a perfect life, and I can tell you two things unequivocally: I'm not that guy, but I do work for him now.
Being a "good" or "faithful" Christian isn't about making one good decision, then being part of a club with no other effort due. It takes work. Serving God starts with the decision to do so, but many more good decisions must follow. Daily decisions. Decisions to love others. Decisions to serve others. Decisions to curb anger and frustrations. Decisions to resist harmful temptations. Decisions to trust God with and in everything. Decisions to lead a life that although still filled with bad decisions and mistakes along the way, is constantly and diligently journeying toward a closer, more pure, relationship with our Heavenly Father.
You aren't defined by your prior bad decisions any more than I am. However, going through life without God, feeling alone and unworthy, and never turning to Him for love, comfort, forgiveness, and peace, is one bad decision indeed.
Much Love, Adam