Make Your Suffering Worth Something

A few mornings ago, I read a story that has really stuck with me. It was from a monthly journal published by the American Bar Association. The story resonated with me for a couple of reasons. First, as a former prosecutor, it made me sick to learn that at 16 years old, a man named Jeffrey Deskovic, was wrongfully convicted of the rape and murder of a high school classmate. It wasn't until many many years later that DNA evidence exonerated him and proved that another man, who was already in prison at the time of the discovery, was likely the one who was actually guilty of the awful crimes that robbed Deskovic of his freedom.

However, more than the actual account of what transpired, the response of Deskovic to what transpired, was really what has stuck with me. It may sound like a stupid question, but how you would feel after pleading your innocence for hours on end, then being coerced into confessing to a crime you didn't commit, at the promise of being able to go home, only to learn you aren't going home...possibly ever again.

I wouldn't last very long in prison. I enjoy my freedom and fast food far too much. For a big man, I have a sneaking suspicion I wouldn't stack up very well against some of the guys I would be serving time with. "Did you get any sleep last night, Joe? No man! That Moore guy I'm bunking with, whimpered and cried all night."

So, take a quick minute and think about your response. I'm certainly not intending to make light of the situation, but I'm certain I would suffer unimaginable sadness. What followed would no doubt be life changing rage and anger. When asked about those lost years and what he had to endure, this was Deskovic's response in the article...

"My position has been that I'm not bitter. I want to enjoy my life as much as I can, and I can't do that if I'm angry and bitter. Helping and witnessing to others, is why I'm in this world. It's such an important issue for me, because it happened to me...I need to make my suffering worth something."

Go back and read that last line again, I'll wait. He said, "I need to make my suffering worth something." Wow. If that doesn't hit you in the stomach, something is wrong. Deskovic realized what we all need to know, you have a choice. Granted you don't always have a choice about what happens to you, but you always have a choice about how you respond.

I have friends and family members that have suffered unbelievable tragedies. Events, losses, and ordeals the likes of which it's hard to allow my mind to fathom. What has been so encouraging to me,  and what has given me strength in my own weaknesses, is to watch how they've overcome. They focus not on the tragedy, but their triumph. Not on the hurt, but on their healing. Not on their weakness, but on their witness. Their suffering made them better, and made others better because of it as well.

I know friends who have lost children. No parent should have to bury a child. No-one would blame the parents for life long anger, due to the agony, but they've chosen a different response. They share in the feelings of Deskovic, "I want to enjoy my life as much as I can, and I can't do that if I'm angry and bitter. Helping and witnessing to others, is why I'm in this world."

I love the passage from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." It's a pay it forward kind of mindset. We can't be angry at God for our suffering, we have to give thanks for the opportunity that our sufferings provide.


God is compassionate and He comforts us in order to prepare us to in turn show compassion to others, to comfort others. That same principal is what causes us to forgive those who have caused us to suffer, because God forgives us and gives us grace, so we too must give grace and forgiveness to those who have caused us harm.

Also, we learn in Romans 5:2-5 that "we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

You've no doubt suffered. Perhaps you are suffering as you read this. Know this: 1.) God loves you. 2.) God can and will show you compassion and comfort. 3.) You have a choice in how you respond to your past or current sufferings. So answer this for yourself: Will you make your suffering worth something?

Much Love, Adam

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I once was lost, but now I’m found

Image
Two old men were lost driving together through Kentucky. When they finally saw a sign on the side of the interstate for the approaching town, the old man driving said, “We're almost to “Lewis-ville.” The old man sitting beside him in the passenger seat said, “It’s “Louie-ville.”" They argued back and forth about the pronunciation for a few minutes before the driver suggested, “let’s take the next exit, go into town and ask a local, then we will listen to them carefully as they tell us the name of the town, and we will have our answer.” The old man in the passenger seat agreed that would be a fair resolution to their dispute. So the driver pulled off the interstate, and into the parking lot of a local store, and the two old men went inside. The driver pleaded with the worker inside, “Sir, help my friend and me, please. Tell us very slowly and very clearly, where are we right this minute?" The worker leans forward over the counter and tells the two older gentleman, “Bur-G
Read more

My Favorite Floaties

Image
"I'm drowning, Amber. I can't do it. I can't keep my head above water." My voice cracked and I tried not to cry on the phone. How humiliating would that be? A grown man breaking down like a child talking to his fiancé. I was nearing the end of my first semester of law school. I was living alone in a small one bedroom apartment, and my closest family member lived four hours, and one state away. I didn't attend the most prestigious law school in the country, not even by a long shot, which made my struggles with the curriculum all the more frustrating. To give myself some credit, it wasn't really the curriculum, as much as the volume of the curriculum. The reading assignments never let up. Never. In undergrad, I could "buckle down," read ahead a little, and be just fine. In law school I felt like "Johnny 5" from the 1986 movie, "Short Circuit," and I still couldn't keep up. See the video below if you've not seen that c
Read more

The Love of a Teacher

Image
I still remember the nervous excitement as I walked into the kindergarten wing of Woodland Elementary School for the first time. We were the "mustangs" then, apparently they are the "hawks" now. Sadly, I must have missed the vote for the mascot change. At any rate, getting back to kindergarten, my socks were pulled up to my knees, and my empty backpack was strapped loosely around my shoulders. I had a fresh haircut from Ross the Boss and I sported a buck toothed smile. The same goofy smile my 9 year old son now flashes at me from time to time (Sorry about the big teeth, J.B.)  When I learned during the summer before kindergarten that my teacher's name was Ms. Thompson, I remember lying in my water bed (Don't you judge me, you had one too) and wondering what kind of teacher Ms. Thompson would be. Would she be strict? Would she be fun? Would she be kind? Would she like me? It turns out, she was a wonderful lady, who had the keen ability to ma
Read more