Always look back. Always have regrets.

As I neared the top of the concrete hill, rain fell hard all around me. My legs felt like jello and my running shoes were wet and heavy. Each step heavier and harder than the last. Lumbering 250 pounds of myself up a steep incline is no easy feat, let me tell you. It was around 5:45am, and it was a dark and chilly fall morning. As rain drenched my head and shirt, cold wind acted as rain's co-conspirator, and tried to freeze me to death right then and there.

In a just a few short hours, cars would be using this roadway to enter and leave the community park, but for the moment, the roadway, more accurately the hill, was my workout nemesis. Breathing heavy and now standing at the crest of the hill, I turned around to see the ground I had just covered. Through exhaustion and pain, I took pride in completing this round of the workouts.

They say, "Never look back," but I have to disagree. Looking down that steep hill I could fully grasp the accomplishment of that moment. Seeing the bottom of the hill gave significance to standing on the top. I would argue that life is like that as well, we should always look back.

As I type these words, my 9 year old son is asleep in the next room. He's such a great kid, but there is something more I should share...he's healthy. When he was born, he spent a week in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The first few days of his life, were spent waiting and wondering if he would survive the pulmonary hemorrhage that he suffered at birth. If I don't look back to that sick little boy in the incubator, whose tiny body was covered in wires and surrounded by machines, how can I appreciate the amazing and healthy young man sleeping one room over?

When I was two years old, my parents divorced. Thankfully I was too young to really remember the initial separation, but growing up, their relationship was...strained to say the least. Drop off's for alternating weekend visitations were tense. Holiday's were split between the two houses, and weren't always the easiest. I often acted as interpreter and liaison between them. Like enemies of foreign nations, I was Switzerland. As of more recent however, I see two adults who selflessly attend their grandkids sporting events, birthdays, and holiday celebrations. They are more than just amicable with each other now, they are respectful, and dare I say loving? It makes me smile even typing those words. How can I truly appreciate the sacred family moments now, if I don't look back on how far we've all come?

The above events, which happen to be personal to my life, pale in comparison to something that has taken place in the past affecting all of our lives. Something that demands our attention and appreciation. God loves us so very much, that He sent the only son He had, to live, suffer, and die for us. Christ died for our sins, all of our sins. In a world in which we are so focused on our calendars and our futures, we need to look back.

Looking ahead, there's nothing you can do to earn God's love or His forgiveness. It's not the works of your future, but the wooden cross of the past that wiped your slate clean. God gave you life, through the death of His Son. Therefore, we should always look back.

They say never have regrets. I don't know about you, but I have plenty. Probably more than my fair share. Like a chubby kid at an all you can eat buffet, I've spooned an extra helping onto my plate. My regrets are too numerous and too embarrassing to list in this small space, but my regrets are real, and they are known by God. If I deny I've made mistakes, if I tell you I have no regrets, if I utter the lie that I'm so how unflawed, well, that would be a disrespectful denial of the significance of Jesus' death.

I firmly believe and scripture supports the thought that God wants us to have peace. He doesn't want us to worry unnecessarily or allow an unhealthy obsession to flood our minds regarding all the unique ways we've found to screw things up in our past. However, God does want our whole hearts, and He wants our minds focused on Him. What better way to do that, than to look back on the greatest gift we'll ever receive, admit that we have regrets and give thanks that all is forgiven.

Always look back. Always have regrets.

Much Love, Adam

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