Let me tell you about my dad

We slipped in a booth at the back of the crowded Panera Bread. As we ate lunch,  I listened as one of my friends talked about his childhood. Specifically my friend told me about his father growing up. "He was a wonderful example of a Christian man," he started. "I never looked up in the stands in all the years I played soccer, and saw an empty seat. He never missed a match. He was always there for me." I smiled listening as my friend went on and on about his dad. Then something occurred to me in that moment....my son will be having similar conversations about me in a restaurant booth somewhere many years in the future. Then I panicked. What kind of dad am I? How will I be remembered in the recesses of my son's mind?

 

Will my son call me a "great example of a Christian man?" Will he be able to speak about me with love and affection, and say I was there when it mattered? I've heard it said we should think about our eulogy and what we want said about us. Perhaps we should think more specifically about what our children will say about us when we are gone. There's no fooling your kids after all, and what other job during life is more important than being a good parent? 

Over the last week, the conversation with my friend has echoed in my mind and in my heart. What will my son say about me to a friend in 30 years? So, tonight I sat down and wrote briefly what I would want to hear my son say to a friend. It's my job in the coming decades to do what I need to do, to assure my son can honestly and gladly say the following about his father:

"We never had the most beautiful lawn in the neighborhood. It's not that taking care of the yard wasn't important to my dad, but he was the kind of dad that expended his daylight elsewhere. During his waking hours, my dad was either working for our family, or spending time with our family. He showed us every single day that there was no where else in the world he wanted to be. He was kind and affectionate. He never hesitated to share his emotions. He was absolutely nuts about my mom. No-one on the earth has ever loved her more. 

My dad gave me a real world example of what a husband and father looks like. I have no doubt God created him especially for our family, and we saw and felt God's love constantly through our father. Sure, he shot hoops with me in the driveway, and he took me to breakfast before school, but it was so much more than basketball and biscuits with my dad and me. He made me feel like I was the most special person in the world, that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to, and that even if I failed miserably, he would always be there for me...no matter what.

My dad talked about Jesus all the time. His faith was the cornerstone of his life and of our home. Morning prayers, lessons in the car, sharing verses that he had read that resonated with him, and even as I drifted to sleep, I could hear his voice in the darkness beside my bed giving thanks for all our family had. In my eyes he was a giant. Even so, I saw tenderness and humility always. Everything he said and did pointed others toward God. My dad was a good man, and I love him so much."

As I typed the last sentence above, my son got out of bed to come hug me goodnight...for the 4th time. I resisted the urge to fuss at him, and instead, I held him an extra long moment in my arms. I thought about the restaurant booth waiting in the future, and my son saying to his friend, "let me tell you about my dad." 

Much Love, Adam