Witty Witness

December is the prime time for toy shopping. It's no surprise electronic devices are on the "Top 100 Toy List" once again this year. For children growing up in the 60's, 70's, and 80's, the "Etch a Sketch" was the closest thing to a tablet we could get our hands on. The bright red frame with two large white knobs at the bottom of each corner, is an immediately recognizable and iconic image. The design is brilliant in it's simplicity. If you've lived in a cave your entire life, Etch a Sketch is a mechanical drawing device for kids. Twisting the two knobs on each corner, caused a stylus on the inside of the toy to displace aluminum powder on the light grey screen, which in turn caused lines to form. Because one knob made the stylus move vertically and the other knob made the stylus move horizontally, creating diagonal lined works of art, was nearly impossible. Sitting alone in the floor as a kid, I was barely able to scratch out my name, ...

You better watch out, you better not cry Better not pout, I'm telling you why Santa Claus is comin' to town He's making a list and checking it twice Gonna find out who's naughty and nice Santa Claus is comin' to town He sees you when you're sleepin' He knows when you're a wake He knows if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake Even if I were to estimate conservatively, I'd say I've heard the song above over 1,000 in my life time. As a grown man now, with kids of my own, the words and the melody of the song take me back to my childhood. Lying in my bed each night leading up to Christmas, I envisioned all the presents stacked around the tree just for me. I was an only child for 9 years, so for nearly a decade, I was the only recipient of gifts at my house on Christmas morning. Then my younger siblings came along and ruined my one man band. My Christmas loot was divided in 4ths. Bah humbug.  Being the devious little m...

As I pulled into the crowded Kroger parking lot, I took my place in the long line of cars that were gridlocked near the front entrance. "I knew I should have taken the side entrance," I complained to myself. From my vantage point, I could see the gas pumps on the other side of the parking lot, I just couldn't quite get there. With each moment that passed, my gas gauge inched closer to empty. "Why did you wait so long to get gas? Are you some kind of mad man?" The Kroger fuel pumps seemed like a desert oasis off in the distance. "I'm an idiot. Why didn't I just take the side entrance?" A sea of red brake lights lit up the dim parking lot on the cold overcast day. This time of year, even lunch time feels like dusk. The hot exhaust from the cars meeting the frigid winter air, sent out clouds of heavy grey smoke. Then suddenly the sound of car horns could be heard over my XM Christmas music....

My wife and I went on our first date in January of 1996. Culture sure has changed a lot since my mom drove us to see Grumpier Old Men at the Grove Theater in Oak Ridge. Nervous and armed with only a learners permit, mom was the necessary but appreciated third wheel. Culture sure has changed since then, indeed. Perhaps in some ways our culture has changed for the better, and arguably in countless ways it's changed for the worse. One thing I am personally glad to see an end to...Glamour Shots. Amber, like a lot of girls at the time, rushed to the franchise store to be transformed and to have her photo taken. When Amber showed me the photos from a Glamour Shots shoot taken on her birthday a few years prior to our first date, I remember thinking how over the top the wardrobes were, but how grown up and beautiful she looked. Sporting big hair, makeup, and a denim studded jacket she tugged on at the collar, she looked like an 80's movie star. Glamour Shots opened its first sto...

I very much enjoy writing. Thinking back on my childhood, I suppose I always have. It wasn't until the last couple of years however that I've actually put pen to paper, and fingers to keyboard, to formally share my thoughts with others. I think my hesitation has always been that I was never a great English student. I always felt inadequate and inept in that regard. Some may say for good reason. I misspelled words, my penmanship was horrific, and I couldn't properly conjugate a sentence, even if my life depended on it.  I've come to learn though that words both spoken and typed, even if imperfect in structure, if genuinely coming from the heart, are powerful. As words are often used on social media, they can degrade and demean, but words lovingly spoken and shared can also lift up and give hope to others as well. I would argue that's what conjunctions often do in the Bible. Thank God for conjunctions. "Coordinating conjunctions," as I understan...

As I parked my car outside the polling place, I saw him out of the corner of my eye. There's no telling how many elections he's seen come and go. Crossing the street, his feet inched along beneath his walker, bit by bit. His feet never left the ground, instead he shuffled them forward and backwards like a cross country skier. A cross country skier moving in slow motion. His once tall and healthy frame was doubled over at the waist. After all, life is hard on the body. The grimace on his face proved to onlookers just how painful the process was, at least for a man his age. Finally reaching his car, he began the process of returning home. He pulled the driver's door closed and away he went. I stopped by the early voting location that day around 12:30pm. I had just finished eating the two fish/two chicken combo at Captain Ds, and my stomach was already angry with me for my dining decision. For the older gentleman above however, casting a vote that day was more than running...

As I neared the top of the concrete hill, rain fell hard all around me. My legs felt like jello and my running shoes were wet and heavy. Each step heavier and harder than the last. Lumbering 250 pounds of myself up a steep incline is no easy feat, let me tell you. It was around 5:45am, and it was a dark and chilly fall morning. As rain drenched my head and shirt, cold wind acted as rain's co-conspirator, and tried to freeze me to death right then and there. In a just a few short hours, cars would be using this roadway to enter and leave the community park, but for the moment, the roadway, more accurately the hill, was my workout nemesis. Breathing heavy and now standing at the crest of the hill, I turned around to see the ground I had just covered. Through exhaustion and pain, I took pride in completing this round of the workouts. They say, "Never look back," but I have to disagree. Looking down that steep hill I could fully grasp the accomplishment of that moment. ...